Paul Most The two women worthy of shagging me are: Susan Sontag--Because she would make it worthwhile for me to try to learn how to listen. Unfortunately, I hear she goes the other way. Xena (Lucy Lawless)--She makes me bark like the dog I am! Truss and shear me like the sheep of your native New Zealand! Bang my head upon your breastplates! I'd like to shag Jewel too, but then I'd have to hear her sing and that would be too great a sacrifice.
Dr. Scooter "Let's not be star-fuckers," Stockard Channig memorably beseeched in '6 Degrees of Separation.' And I confer. So my list will be short: Stone Cold Steve Austin: A professional wrestler. Shaved head, goatee (in fact, he looks a little like me). Likes to curse a lot. I bet he spits, too. Sebastian Junger: A novelist. (I don't remember what he's written.) I saw his photograph in the New York Times Book Review once. He looked handsome. Bruce Wagner: Another writer. Never seen him in person before, but his book jacket photo gives him an interestingly menacing quality. Some newcaster on the Weather Channel: I don't know his name, and he's not traditionally handsome. But he looks like he's hung like a freight train. Christy Turlington: Our children would have great bone structure (mainly hers). Alec Baldwin: Mainly for the chest hair.