The responses are even more erudite. "Well Chris, I can’t stand getting those little hairs caught in the back of my throat, so let’s get rid of those bears." Or, "If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Preferably in my face. So let’s wave bye-bye to the teeny weenies."

"Singled Out" has become a monster ratings hit for MTV, though some people hate it because it leaves less room for "Beavis and Butthead" reruns. Other people hated it because of Jenny McCarthy, who left the show earlier this year for her very own half-hour comedy thing vaguely reminiscent (if you squint) of Hee-Haw in its less inspired moments. When Jenny used to come on stage, squealing and bouncing, girls all across America could be heard muttering "I hate her." Which was exactly the point, I think. Guys, however, liked Jenny so much they used to grope her during early tapings of the show. Then Jenny became an artiste, and put a stop to all that. "Rule number one," drooling contestants were told, "don’t touch Jenny."

Ah yes, Jenny. The little pinup turned cutup. She makes the stoopid faces, she dances the graceless dances. She embarrasses her family with every word she speaks. But one suspects Jenny was asked to co-host the show less for her pensees than for her tits. But let’s not be hasty in our judgments; Jenny is a high school graduate. Jenny was also, as if anyone could forget, Playboy’s Miss October of 1993, and later crowned 1994’s Playmate of the Year. As one Playboy reader said "She’s hot. She’s pretty. And she’s got a nice body." Well, what more could you want from a year’s Playmate or an MTV celebrity?

To give credit where it is certainly due, "Singled Out" did not become a hit because of Chris Hardwick and his doofis haircut and Hawaiian shirts. And it certainly wasn’t because of the contestants ("He can’t dance, but he sure is cute," Jenny would say as yet another buff-chested boy wobbled around on stage to the Spice Girls). It had to be Jenny. She was the biggest thing to hit television game shows since Vanna White turned over a just-bought-vowel on "Wheel of Fortune." (And let’s not forget that virginal Vanna also got her first taste of showbiz in the pages of Playboy.) Those 15 year old boys who are the network’s primary target just loved it when their pert Playmate would stick her tongue out and roll her eyes, or when she would spank one of the male contestants. "Some guys stand in the front row just to be hit by Jenny," once tattled Chris Hardwick.

And Jenny certainly was the girl of the moment. She was on the cover of Rolling Stone, Playboy, TV Guide, and YM. She made a compilation of her favorite surf tunes called "Jenny McCarthy’s Surfin’ Safari" (it came complete with a poster of Jenny in a yellow polka dot bikini). She even had a role in Tom Arnold’s film "The Stupids" (talk about your truth in advertising). But all sensations must come to an end. Jenny left the lowly world of dating earlier this year for the more noble world of comedy. And as far as I can ascertain, "The Jenny McCarthy Show" has been a big flop for MTV, somewhere slightly above "Idiot Savants" and just directly below "The John Stewart Show."

Stepping into Jenny’s yellow polka dot bikini is Carmen Electra (née Tara Patrick). Carmen is also an ex-Playboy pinup (there’s a Marxist-feminist explanation for this somewhere). Carmen had her first orgasm at age 12 while riding the bus to school. These are the things we need to know. "Everyday I sat on the bus," explicated Ms. Electra "I’d try to repeat the same thing, but it wouldn’t happen again." It’s stories like these that make a grown man cry.